Monster
by kyonkichi's kitten
Summary: *SONGFIC* When Haru forgets who he is in his Black state, what will the consequences be?
1. Monster

Yo! This is just a short little story that came to me when I was sitting there listening to this song. I'd heard it a million times, but this was the first time that I heard it after reading Furuba, so… voila!

The song's called 'Monster', by Skillet. It's an awesome song and I recommend that you all hear it, it really suits Haru's situation.

Until the next chapter, enjoy!

^.^

* * *

_The secret side of me,_

_I never let you see_

_I keep it caged but I can't control it_

_So stay away from me_

_The beast is ugly_

_I feel the rage and I just can't hold it_

_

* * *

_

Haru could never remember turning from black to white. When he sank into the black, he couldn't remember what he did, and who he hurt, or what he said. All he could remember was suddenly realizing where he was, much like a drunken person coming out of a stupor.

He raised his head, looking around himself. He was lying on a futon, in Yuki's room. He had no idea how he had gotten there, but he was sure it had something to do with one of his cousins. He sat up, head pounding, as the sliding door opened and three bodies entered the room.

He saw Tohru, looking at him with sadness. Kyo was standing with her, holding her hand as if to calm her, pure confusion in his eyes as he stared at the white-haired teen. And Yuki… Yuki was looking at him too, standing next to Tohru on the other side, a mixture of pity and greif in his violet eyes.

"Haru, you're awake, I'm glad, do you want anything to eat or drink? I can make something if you want me to." Tohru babbled, and Haru stood up, ignoring the girl.

Such a range of emotions in their eyes, yet Haru had no idea what he had done to upset them, or what had happened to make him turn black. _Nor,_ he decided, _do I care right now. _He strode towards the door, passing the trio, who didn't try to stop him, out into the garden behind Shigure's house.

"Haru, wait!" Yuki called out behind him. Haru ignored him, and kept walking. Yuki sighed, then ran down the path and pulled on the back of his coat.

"What?" Haru asked impatiently, turning around to face the silver-haired boy.

* * *

_I feel it deep within_

_It's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I hate what I've become_

_the nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

* * *

"It's just… do you remember what you did when you were Black?" Yuki asked him.

"No. I told you I can't remember what I-"

"So, you don't know that you decided to jump off of the roof of the school? And that you actually attempted it?" He asked.

"No, I- what? What do you mean, _attempted_?" Haru was shocked at the fact that he would try something so stupid. _Well, when my black side takes over, there's no knowing what I'll do…_

Yuki sighed. "Kyo and I knocked you out before you could. What I want to know is, why you wanted to do it in the first place?"

Haru growled. "I told you, I don't know! Do you think I'm stupid enough to want to kill myself?"

"No," Yuki stated simply, "but I think your black side wants control."

* * *

_It's hiding in the dark_

_It's teeth are razor sharp_

_There's no escape for me_

_It wants my soul it wants my heart_

* * *

"Haru! Yuki!" Another voice called out to them from the porch. Momiji was here.

"Haru, is it true? Did you jump off the school roof and Yuki caught you? A kid from our homegroup was telling me, I wondered why you didn't show up after lunch!" He literally bounced towards them, hugging Haru for all he was worth.

"No, Momiji, he didn't jump. Where were you at lunchtime, anyway?" Yuki asked the blond boy.

"I had to go see Ha'ri, because I forgot our science projects were due today and I left it at home. He brought it for me. But it took me a while to get hold of him… Akito is sick again. " He trailed off solemnly.

"Oh. So, Haru, are you staying for dinner? Tohru's making sukiyaki. Oh, and Momiji, you're welcome to stay too." Yuki offered. Haru shook his head.

"I need to go and see Rin, in case my black side tries to kill me again." With that, he walked off into the forest, leaving Momiji and Yuki.

"I'll stay! I love Tohru's cooking! Yay, Tohru!" Momiji cheered, and dashed off into the house to see Tohru. Yuki sighed, and followed.

_

* * *

_

_No-one can hear me scream_

_Maybe it's just a dream_

_Maybe it's inside of me_

_Stop this monster_

* * *

"Rin, I need to talk to you."

It was a week after the incident at their school. Haru had finally found his way to Kagura's house, and, luckily, Rin was home. Kagura had sent him upstairs, and he barged into her room unannounced.

"What- hey! You can't just barge in here! And where the hell have you been, Hatori's called twice a day for the last four days!" Rin exclaimed, as he slid onto her bed next to her. She put down her sketchbook and hugged to him, as he ignored her questions.

"I was looking for you. I needed to see you," He whispered in her ear.

"What's so urgent, that you go missing for a week trying to find me?" She whispered, rolling onto her side so she could run her hand through his soft, white-as-snow hair.

"I… well, I thought Yuki would've told you, but the other day at school…" He trailed off, staring into Rin's beautiful dark eyes.

She shook her head. "What? What happened?"

"Well, my dark side took over. I don't know why, but apparently when I was out of it..."

"What happened? Tell me, you're killing me here!" She traced her finger down the side of his face. He sighed.

"Apparently, I tried to throw myself off the roof of the building."

Her reaction was way out of proportion, in his opinion. She leapt up, as though burned, taking a few steps back in shock.

"WHAT?" She screamed as loudly as she could, he flinched. He knew it would be bad, but-

"YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF?" She yelled, and he cowered as she threw a pair of shoes at him.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU WOULD'VE LEFT ME HERE! YOU- I can't BELIEVE this! What is WRONG with you?" Rin shouted, throwing a textbook from the floor at him.

"It's not my fault! It's my Black side, I can't control it!" He yelled back, and she paused as she was about to throw something else at him. Ironically, it was a plushie of a cow that Haru had bought her ages ago. Tears formed in her eyes and she wiped them away in one stroke, stubbornly.

"Come here," he said softly and she crawled across the bed and into his arms, where she began crying heavily.

"I came to see you," He said quietly, rocking her back and forth, "in case I didn't get another chance… I love you, Rin."

She sat still for a second, then said, he voice thick, 'If you leave me, I'll… I'll… I don't know what I'd do. You can't leave me." She said, wiping her eyes on his T-shirt.

"I won't leave you." He promised. "Not if I can help it."

She laughed bitterly. "What kind of promise is that?"

"The only one I can make under the circumstances."

* * *

_The secret side I keep_

_Hid under lock and key_

_I keep it caged but I cant control it_

_Coz if I let him out_

_He'll tear me up, break me down_

_Why wont somebody come and save me from this_

_Make it end?_

_

* * *

_

"I love you, Haru," she half-sighs as he lays her down from her upright position. He lays next to her, his arm around her waist, and his lips on the back of her neck, kissing her gently.

"And I, you, Rin."

"Will you stay with me?" She tried to turn her head to see him.

"Yeah. But I'd better call Hatori first, he's worried."

"Okay," she agreed, and Haru went to use the phone.

^.^

"Fine!" Haru slammed the receiver down on the hook.

"What's wrong?" Rin asked from behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, much like he had done before.

"He's coming to pick me up and he's taking me to Kazuma's. He's got Aya and Shigure over and thought I shouldn't have to deal with them. You wanna come with?" He asked, not looking at her.

"Okay," She shrugged, and, after packing a few clothes, the pair went to Kazuma's for the night.

* * *

A/N: Heyy. Well, that's the main part of the story, i'll continue it... maybe... *grins evilly* .

I'll just keep Haru, Rin, and everyone else locked in the cupboard for now. Don't worry, there's ventilation.

I think.

Rin: 'Let me out of here! Damn you to hell!'

Reicheru: 'Hmm, not until the next chapter. At least Haru's there to keep you company!'

Haru: 'Hey, Rin, she's right!'

*silence*

Reicheru: 'Ok... i don't want to know. But still, not bad for my first attempt at furuba fanfiction, so hopefully you guys liked it. Flames will be used for boiling the kettle to make my coffee. Constructive critism, please!'

Tohru: 'umm, Reicheru? There isn't enough room in here for me, Kyo, Yuki, Momiji, Rin, and Haru. Could you maybe let us out? Oh no! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have asked, I'm causing too much trouble!'

Kyo: 'Tohru, you're hopeless. Let us outta here, damn fan fiction writer! You could've at least given me a speaking part!'

Reicheru: 'There's always the next chapter!' *grins evilly again* 'Shut up or I'll add more characters.'

*silence*

Reicheru: Thankyou. Okay, so hit the little 'review this chapter' button. You know you wanna! Until the next chapter, bye!'


	2. The Last Night

"Haru! Rin!" Kunimitsu called out jovially as the pair approached, walking up the long path around the Dojo to Kazuma's residence. Rin sighed and rolled her eyes as the young adult dropped the broom he was sweeping the porch with and came to greet them, Haru just waved a non-committal greeting.

'How are you both? Oh, Kazuma's inside, by the way, and where's Hatori?' Kunimitsu peered down to the street, where Hatori's car had just pulled away from.

Haru said nothing and continued on to the interior of the house, Rin followed his example, and Kunimitsu, feeling awkward, picked up his broom again and began sweeping.

The cool air in the house was refreshing in the heat of the day. There were no lights on, but thin shafts of light filtered through from the small gaps between the walls and the roof, casting a light blue shadow around the room. Haru payed little attention to this, but rather to the man who sat before him, sipping tea, his legs under the table.

"Yo." The one word greeting caused a polite nod from the teacher, and Rin sighed impatiently.

"Good afternoon. Hatori said you wanted to stay here, Haru, but I'm assuming that Rin wants to join you?" Kazuma wasted no time in cutting to the chase.

"Yes. If that's okay. We'll only be here a night, two nights, tops," the boy said, running a hand through his ivory hair, through to the ebony roots. Kazuma only nodded. Rin sighed for the third time, impatient.

"Okay, yes, get this awkwardness over with. Let's go," she said to Haru, and she took his arm, pulling him down the corridor to one of Kazuma's spare rooms.

Kazuma looked down at his tea, which was almost finished. He threw the remaining dregs onto a potted plant and put the cup in the sink, before heading out for some more practice in the Dojo before his evening class.

Hatsuharu and Isuzu sat in the room that they had unspokenly decided to share. It was quiet, as no-one was speaking, but that didn't make it bad. Both were still, silently drinking in the comfort that the other provided. It was only after a few minutes that Rin couldn't help herself.

"Would you have done it?" she said quietly. He raised his head to stare at her, bewildered.

"What?"

"You know…." She mumbled, as though she didn't really want to ask, but she had to. "Jumped."

His eyes glazed over slightly, and she knew she had asked a stupid question. The look of horror on his face was enough to prove that to her. He turned to look at her, the fear in her eyes betraying her usual flippant personality with ease.

He shrugged, knowing that an explosion as a reaction was not a good way to go. He smiled casually at her.

"You were really worried, huh?" He said.

Shock made an artistic pattern on her face and she was rendered speechless.

"What is wrong with you?" She exclaimed, not for the first time that day. "You- you BASTARD!"

"What?" Haru said, partially annoyed. She would have been upset if he yelled at her or got upset, so he was trying to pass it off like it didn't matter much_. Only Rin could take it that way,_ he thought.

"Are you trying to act brave for me, you heartless twat?" She yelled at him, hitting him in the face with a pillow that was on the bed they were currently residing on. Horrified, Haru remembered that that was how her parents had acted around her.

"Ah, look, Rin, I never meant it like-" he began, but she was too angry to hear him, and tears were still falling thick and fast down her cheeks.

"You are so lucky that I love you, Hatsuharu Sohma, otherwise your body would have been turned to patties and sold to a fast food restaurant by now!" Rin yelled again, still beating him with the pillow.

"Hey, I resent that!" Haru said, about the cow reference. "But it's nice to hear you say that you love me."

Rin stopped, and stared at him, wide-eyed.

"W-well, I didn't mean, I- well, I-"

"Admit it," he said, moving close to her and staring down into her liquid-chocolate eyes. "You do love me, really."

"Well…"

"Come on…"

Rin stared at him, before leaning in and kissing him on the mouth.

Like always, an overwhelming sense of peace descended on both parties as the relaxed as one. _Her lips were made for mine_, he thought to himself, not knowing that almost exactly the same thought was going through her head.

When the couple broke apart, Haru leaned his forehead to rest against Rin's, entertwining their hands.

"Talk to me. What is really going on." Rin said softly. He sighed.

"I was worried. Once I found out what I tried to do." Haru paused, before continuing. "I was worried that one day my black side would slip, and I wouldn't be here. Once, I even found myself with cuts all over my arms and I don't know how they got there. But I'm not scared for myself."

"What are you scared of?" her speech was barely a whisper, but he could hear it, especially giving their proximity.

"Losing you," he muttered, before leaning in and capturing her lips with his own again.

_You come to me with scars on your wrist_

_You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this_

"Haru, I don't want to lose you."

"Don't worry, I'll be around for a long time yet. Remember that."

"_I just came to say goodbye_

_I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine"_

_But I know it's a lie_

"I just need you to know that if I can't fight my black side, there won't be anything I can do. But I love you."

Rin gasped, he was contemplating death. Suicide, practically.

"I will have every person in that school of yours watching you like a hawk. You are NOT leaving me. No matter what that stupid black side says. I love you, you can't go. You won't." She whispered. He kissed her lightly, and her arms went around him. That was when they laid down, wrapped in each other's embrace, forgoing dinner, to sleep.

_This is the last night you'll spend alone_

_Look me in the eyes so I'll know you know_

_I'm everywhere you want me to be_

_The last night you'll spend alone_

_I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go_

_I'm anything you need me to be_

**A/N: Well. That turned out a lot more gloomy, depressing, and boring that I intended, but it WILL get better, I promise. And it was short too. Oh well.**

**Ooh, yeah! I got reviews, man! WOOOOO! I just wanna say thanks so much to **

**MJObsessed93 and Exorcist Aki-Chan (lol)**

**And especially to **

**quietlyintheshadows who is, like, the only person who reviewed. Man I feel like a loner. But it encouraged me to write a little more, no matter how badly. **


	3. Whispers In The Dark

"Isuzu-san! Haru-kun?" A cheerful voice called from down the hallway.

Rin sighed and shifted, rolling over onto her back, accidently nudging Haru, who snored on.

"Oh no…. Haru. Get up." Rin groaned, purposely elbowing Haru in the side as she sat up, flicking her short, midnight-colored hair out of her tired eyes. Still, he slept on.

"HARU! GET THE HELL UP!" she yelled in his ear, and he jumped, slamming his head onto her face in surprise.

'Ow! Damn!" she cried, as he spent a few moments trying to orientate himself.

"Rin? Why are we at Shishou's place?" He asked, wearing a befuddled, lost expression that she loved, but she didn't have time to tell him that.

"Quick, we have to hide… _she's _coming." She muttered, shoving him off the bed to fall on the floor. She stood quickly, and took four long strides to the closet. Sliding open the door, she hid inside it. Haru remained on the floor, looking confused.

"Don't just sit there idiot, _hide_!" Rin murmured from her hiding place.

He had about three seconds to comply, and he obediently rolled under the bed as the paper door was pushed open.

"Isuzu-san! Kazuma-dono said you were in here-" the happy-go-lucky teenager broke off as she saw that there were no occupants of the room. She frowned.

"Tohru, have you found them?" Kyo's voice came from the hallway as well.

"Uwah? …Eh, no, Kyo-kun. They must be outside." Tohru said, still gazing around the room with her bright, sapphire eyes, before sighing, and turning the light out before leaving the room. Rin felt relieved as the brunette proceeded to walk down the hallway, her feet pattering lightly on the floor.

_It worked. _She told herself. _It really worked… geez, that girl is so dumb._

She began to slide back the closet door to slip out quietly, when something happened that could have caused Rin to strangle her boyfriend.

Haru sneezed.

And not quietly. Rin froze as the pattering came back down the hallway, only there was a second set of footsteps accompanying the first.

"Isuzu-chan?" Tohru's little voice entered the room again, this time cautiously. She didn't flick the light switch this time. Kyo wasted no time in politeness, but rather strode over to the large cupboard, sliding back the door with a loud _BANG_.

There was no-one there.

Kyo frowned, and shook his head a few times.

"Why are we wasting time here anyway, Tohru? Who cares about that damn cow, let's go home already." He didn't wait for an answer, but rather grabbed the surprised girl by the wrist and dragged her out of the room.

_No, you'll never be alone  
When darkness comes you know I'm never far  
Hear my whispers in the dark_

Hiding patiently in the darkness remained Rin and Haru, waiting for the others to leave before they could emerge. His strong, well-built arms wrapped around her dark form, and she leaned into him contentedly, yet still trying to contain the bubble of laughter that was trying to escape from her throat. She only ever laughed in front of him.

Rin waited until the couple had already left, before sliding out from under the left-hand side of the bed. She nudged Haru in the side with her foot, and he groaned, rolling over, out from under the other side. He had a quick moment to glance at the white ceiling, before his vision was blocked by a rapidly-approaching pillow.

"Mmph!" he said under the pillow. Pulling it off from his face, he asked what she'd hit him for.

"Sneezing, you dumbass." She said, still struggling to contain her laughter. There was a sharp rap on the door, one that could not have been either Tohru or Kyo, as it was too loud for the timid girl, and Kyo wouldn't have knocked at all. Haru got up from his position on the wooden floor, and strode to the door.

"Shishou!" the teen greeted the older man. Kazuma smiled slightly at the pair, almost suggestively, taking in Rin's short, messy hair and Haru's breathlessness. The look on his face showed that he thought they'd been rolling on the floor for a different reason.

"Did Tohru interrupt you? Or were you two hiding this time?" the sensei asked, and both Haru and Rin began to yell at him, before he held up his right hand in a gesture for silence.

"It's none of my business. However, I thought the pair of you might like to know that Ayame and Shigure have both gone home, and Hatori is out the front with the car, to take you both to his house. If you want to stay, however, that is also an option."

Considering it, the couple agreed on the second option. At the main house, they would be under Akito's watchful gaze. However nice she may seem, Akito still frightened Rin somewhat. Staying at Kazuma's seemed the best option.

Isuzu and Hatsuharu Sohma laid upon the grass outside of Kazuma's dojo, staring at the night sky. Haru had one arm wrapped around his girlfriend, and she had her head laid on his shoulder.

_No, you'll never be alone  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars  
Hear my whispers in the dark  
_

The night was perfectly warm, and the grass swayed with the slight breeze. Gazing at Haru, Rin knew that she couldn't let him die, no matter what the cost, because he was so important to her.

_I will be the one that's gonna hold you  
I will be the one that you run to  
My love is a burning, consuming fire_

**A/N:**** Thank you to ****Hollowmist for reviewing for this story, and provoking me to get up off my lazy author butt and get some writing done!  
~Ellie-Chan~**


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